I just decided that I am going to stop having sex and exercise instead. This way, my energy will go to something more useful that doesn’t make me feel bad about myself, since this ten-month “relationship” is just making me hate myself for being dumb and for being unlovable. And after weighing myself on Tuesday, I am officially overweight and need to lose weight anyway, so the new plan is to put all my physical energy into dancing, jumping rope, biking, and doing Pilates. The emotional energy is going to go into writing and just being a good student.
I am really excited about this. I hope the good mood lasts. Yesterday I was in a funk, but I need to not let bad nights at work affect my days. And I need to start drinking more yerba mate to curb my appetite. Which means I also need to drink more milk to counter the effects of the caffeine.
I’ll try not to let this blog turn in to my self-help book. But I am so excited about helping myself out, and I think that’s a really new and good thing for me at this point. I’ve been wasting my life lately.