forgetfulness

It’s like I’ve forgotten how to write in a journal. It’s always intimidating when you start a new paper journal; clearly a new online one is no different. I’ve had my LJ since eighth grade, so to start something new after six years is a little daunting.

I’m on the edge of my seat constantly. I want to be writing, and I really should be working on my French blog or my short story for my fiction class, both of which are due on September 30, which is conveniently a day when I will not be at school because it’s Rosh Hoshanah. But even though my short story has nothing to do with anything I’ve written before taking this class, I’m reluctant to start writing again. Over the summer my computer crashed, and even though I had everything backed up on a flash drive, all my stuff was lost. I got a new hard drive, the computer guys said I could hire someone who could likely get everything off of my old, broken hard drive (albeit for a four-figure price, most likely), and I plugged in my flash drive to get my novel out. Lo and behold, it has crashed and deleted as well. If all my files are deleted, I think I’m quitting writing. Really. This book is too important to me, and this is not the first time I have had computer problems that have deleted my work. What kills me this time is that I was actually backing things up, and the backup failed as well. Anyway. Until I know if that’s being fixed (apparently a moonlighting computer guy has it now; I kind of just wanted to go with the expensive guys, as they’re kind of a guarantee), I hate the idea of starting new things. I desperately want my writing back.

I’m trying to read a lot, though. And lately I’ve had a songwriting kick. It’s never full songs, but I’m working on it. I got a book on how to use Garage Band from the library, so actually opening that could be helpful. And I have bits and pieces of what could be lots and lots of songs. I’m trying, really. And now that I’m taking music theory, I’m hoping I’ll be better at that. First-species counterpoint kicked my ass this week, but I’m blaming it on being sick and missing lots of class. That may not be it, but that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

I do have two short story ideas, though, which is perfect, because I have to write two this semester. I’m terrible at short fiction, but maybe I’ll get better. The other thing I miss from my computer is the two or so years of saved PostSecrets, which are not archived, so I can’t get them back. Those are the best inspiration for stories, hands down. I suggest you check it out.

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