Creed ’09-’10

I believe that not then, not later, but now
is when my life is beginning. I believe
that this year feels like it will suck,
so that is probably what will make it amazing.
I believe that I am not who I thought I was;
I believe that I have never been more terrified of anything
than I am of myself right now. I believe
my happiness depends on what I do to achieve it,
so I should stop sitting around, waiting for it to happen.
I believe that this is where I belong, even if sometimes
it’s a painful place to be. I believe that I am more positive
than negative, even if outwardly I seem the opposite.
I believe in magic again, and in religion, and in mermaids.
I believe in how strong I am, and in withstanding things. I believe
we can all always try harder. I believe the world will clear itself up
by the time I’m ready to conquer it; I believe I am equipped
to handle that. I believe in my friends and in how new ones
can always surprise me. I believe my friends humble me.
I believe in leaving some things behind, and I believe
I am getting better at that. I believe in my mind—I think.
I believe that holding grudges isn’t always a bad thing;
I believe that some people don’t deserve me, and that
others don’t need me, and that others I’ve pushed away.
I believe that I’ve gotten more than I deserved, but I also believe
that I don’t always get what I should.
I believe I am a bit of a harlot, and that bothers me.
I believe that I’m impatient, and I believe I’m going to have to keep waiting.
I believe that I understand language emotionally, and not cognitively; I believe that
often I get too much credit. I believe in
my bookshelves. I believe in my Facebook. I believe in
swimming pools, and I feel as if I am standing
on a diving board, bouncing, nearly ready
to take off.

Meg Kearney’s “Creed”


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