sarah HANNAH gómez

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I become too invested in things that end up letting me down, and I think too highly of myself, and when I’m brought down, either fairly or unfairly, I get really mean. But I do the meanness as professionally as possible. And people think I think too highly of myself, but really it’s just because I talk about the things I’m good at endlessly to avoid thinking about the many, many things I am bad at that I find more important. Grammar is less than love, but my abilities in grammar are greater than my abilities in love. Etcetera.

But sometimes I wonder if being a tough bitch is good for anything, since I still end up crying alone in my room. It’s like the tree falling in the woods with no one to hear it; my crying only makes a sound to me. I’m back to caring too much about what people think.

I cannot wait to leave this place.

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Freshman year of college, I wrote an essay for my English class called “The Slut Manifesto.” It was a pretty fabulous essay, but I pretty quickly felt like I was totally over the sentiment. I don’t really drink anymore, at least not in a partying way, and I don’t have the time, energy, or self esteem to randomly hook up with people. Until Wednesday, I had stuck by my “no sex, just exercise” plan and lost six pounds, and while I kind of failed at the sex part, I’m still on the dieting and exercising part.

I’m feeling myself dip back into my “Slut Manifesto” personality, but it feels more like women’s lib than being a sad, slutty girl. Though I still feel a little sad sometimes.

I am terrified about where the United States is heading: http://azstarnet.com/news/local/border/article_40b37ff4-4f12-11df-9e0d-001cc4c002e0.html

This country is falling to pieces, and it’s due largely to the efforts of petty Republicans who would rather scapegoat and purposely ruin the efforts of Democrats, regardless of whether they believe in them or not, but only so that the Democrats will fail. The Republicans who hate Latinos are scapegoating immigrants in the same way that Hitler scapegoated Jews, Catholics, homosexuals, and gypsies. Well done, America. Really.

the belzhar

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the walls around us

i accidentally secretly watched the entire twilight saga

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