i am a grownup

My parents have been visiting, and I’ve been taking three different classes, and a fourth starts on Tuesday, hence not writing or doing anything, really. Aside from being crazy stressed about things, I’m actually really enjoying summer. It’s pretty amazing to be in a part of the country where summer means you can actually go outside and do cutesy, twee things that previously I only knew to be possible in books and movies. I have walked around MIT’s campus and around the Charles; I’ve sat on a swan boat in the Public Gardens; I’ve been to Newport, RI; I know where all the good bookstores are now; I’ve been to Concord and learned about the Revolutionary War; etc etc.

I’ve spent a lot of time saying I don’t like it here, and I still don’t want to make my life in Boston. But all of a sudden I’m again more open to just about anything in my future, and I’m a lot more comfortable with the idea that I currently live here. It’s like I needed my parents to see me living here and being a grownup and being okay before I could believe it myself.

I never realized I was so attached to the opinions and validation I get from my parents and my sister, but I guess I am. I was always such an independent kid, but I think because it was always independence with family behind me, so it was a shock when I really had to be an adult when I moved across the country. Also, I’m realizing with my parents here that it’s messing with my routine and my lifestyle, and I didn’t even know I had one of those here. But if having them here means I’m stepping up, taking advantage of the place where I live, and being “expert” enough to teach my parents how to drive through town, where to buy groceries, and what the names of parks and landmarks are, and doing all of that means I actually feel invested in where I live and not just what I’m doing while I live here, I’m happy.

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