the internet is a terrible place

I Googled myself today because lately I have been getting emails meant for a Hannah Gómez in Texas (are you there? If so, I kind of hate you and really want you to learn your email address and stress it to others so that I stop getting your ridiculous memberships to stupid websites and newsletters for culinary academies). Then I got distracted by Google’s “related searches,” where I could clearly see which searches were for me and which were for a third name-doppelganger (there must be a word for a person who shares your name, and I’m willing to bet it’s German), so I started clicking around. And then I forgot to NaNo and I forgot to take my vertigo pills, so the world kept spinning slightly, and I forgot to eat.

I found interesting stuff, like how people are always calling me a teen blogger or a YA blogger, even if, like in one example, they are quoting both me and another person ON THE SAME BLOG, where it is clear that we are all librarians who blog. I hate that. Stop calling me a teenager. I hated being a teenager, I’m glad to have left adolescence behind awhile ago, and I will never be a teenager again. I work with teenagers and love them, but I also love not being one, so don’t call me one. Ever. I also found an email I sent to my dad that he had forwarded to people at work, reprinted by a shitty Tea Party blog, complete with my entire email signature with personal information that the Internet does not need access to in such an unfiltered way. I do not like that, but I also don’t want to stir shit up by telling them they need to take it down, because it was a very inflammatory, awful post that didn’t actually have to do with me but that had my personal information on it. If someone can remind me if there is a way to flag something like that, that would be great.

I found one small Houston newspaper that linked to a post I wrote for The Hub and then offered its own suggestions that were in fact not its own but my exact list but with longer annotations lifted directly from the publisher. Not cool. Don’t plagiarize my shit. At least the writer had the decency to say that she had lifted from the publisher, but she still implied that she had come up with her own list to complement mine when she did no such thing. I also found that the book reviews I used to write for a certain group of websites are regularly copied over to Amazon, so I am all over that place, and then I saw people quote from my reviews and then imply that I work for Amazon. That led me to learn what I already know, which is that everyone needs more information literacy. Also, Amazon should stop stealing reviews without proper attribution. Get thee a librarian!

When I Google my full name, the entire first page of results is related to me. Awesome. That is why I publish the way I do, even if I’m called by my middle name. With just the name most people know me by, I get stuck with other people who share my name, and we all swim around with results that talk about Hannah Montana and Selena Gomez.

I saw a blog post where someone just mentioned having met and talked to me and having enjoyed it. That was nice to read. Someone else took a blog post I wrote to task and broke it down and responded to it piece by piece, which I think is awesome and a huge compliment; then again, she also backed up all of her arguments by saying that her personal experience as an author hadn’t been X, and therefore I was wrong. Also, she kind of called me stupid and then compared reading books to watching movies.

Anyway.

The Internet is an awful place where you should not go, because it will eat your soul and let you find out things you would have been happier not knowing. Also, it will waste your time, and then you will have written fewer than 1000 words in two days of NaNo. Good night.

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