life is happening

CNT9vu9U8AAhfhMI’ve not been here much because I’ve been working on writing that I hope to send off into the world to other places, and because I’ve been trying to expand my focus to things beyond books, since I like lots of things. I’m also building a new website where I’d like to showcase all of my interests and skills, not just writing about books.

I really like fashion, and I loved being known as a quirky, stylish librarian at my old job, and now, even though I enjoy the fact that I’ve been doing remote stuff, I miss dressing up. I like reading about style, and I’d like to write about it, if not here than elsewhere.

I just moved back to Arizona and have been spending a lot of time with my nieces, which has kept me from doing other things, but it’s also been good for me to be around them. They are one of the reasons I chose to move back, and I love them and love being closer to them and love that they are so happy to see me. I’m so happy my parents are glad to have me back, even if I’m cramping their style by living with them until I find a new place of my own. I’m glad to have my big sister again.

One of the major reasons I quit my well paying job was because I was having serious health issues, so I am happy to say that this break from the daily grind has been incredibly beneficial, and once I’m even more healed, I look forward to being a better, healthier person back in the real world.

I have become #fitforlife and pretty obnoxious about it on social media. I talk about it a lot. I now teach it about five times a week. It is making me feel stronger, more settled, and more like my brain is in order. It’s amazing what blood flow and oxygen can do to your body and to your creative mind. Back in college, when I walked or biked to school, I wrote songs in my head and came up with ways to edit whatever I was working on in my creative writing classes.

I’ve heard from friends that people I grew up with are shocked or confused by this new me, and so am I. I was never a particularly active person. I was never good at it – until I was 22, I was misdiagnosed with asthma and given very serious steroids and drugs that made me feel crappy. Turns out, that’s because they were targeting a condition I didn’t have. And so, as a result, I spent about 12 years not being able to breathe or do well at activity, because doctors, frankly, think horses to a fault and never even remember that zebras exist, let alone that they do indeed have hooves and may sometimes be around (I have a huge passion for nurse practitioners because of my experiences with doctors refusing to consider anything but the most common illnesses. So, sorry to those of you in med school, but I hope you take after NPs and treat your patients better than the average MD does). Not all of my health issues can be cured by fitness, of course, but it’s been an essential medication, and I’ve learned that I actually really enjoy the challenge of trying new types of exercise, like barre (for the first time in my life I feel like I occasionally live up to the meaning behind the name Hannah – graceful), yoga, and even crossfit (I’m embarrassed by that last one, tbh). I like being sweaty. I like feeling the muscles that are burgeoning underneath my skin, and I still also really like potato chips. I like that I’m allowing myself to like both things, and I like that I regularly think about and read about and write about body acceptance with friends who are helping to remind me that I have to accept my own body, not just encourage others to love theirs.

Anyway, I intend to keep this blog (or migrate it over to the new domain once I’ve finished its design), but it will be more sparse, and hopefully filled with more links to other places where I’ll be sharing my thoughts in a slightly less profane and more polished way.

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