health

detoxing is impossible

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So in late September I checked out Juicing, Fasting, and Detoxing for Life: Unleash the Healing Power of Fresh Juices and Cleansing Diets from the library, and yesterday I finally “finished” it. That means I finished four chapters and then decided I was done. It’s not a terrible book, but it’s also not a great book. I can’t decide how I feel about it.

So first of all, anyone who tells you in a book that you should think hard before getting vaccines because of autism is someone whose advice you should NOT be taking, because people who cannot do research or understand medical research have no business giving you medical advice. But because I’m not stupid, and because I have read the work of people who I do give credence to who also talk about the benefit of raw foods and all that jazz, I figured I would keep reading. Given that I have so many wonky health issues that are hard to figure out, I’m always out for new knowledge, and I’m almost always willing to try new methods when they’re obviously not going to kill me. Drinking juice and eating raw foods will not kill you (except for the three times I’ve gotten food poisoning from leafy greens, but we won’t get into that here). Continue reading →

enforced wellness

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I’m not going to say I’m immune to media, because nobody in America is, but I’ve never really been one for dieting or anything crazy. In high school I once managed to stay on the Special K diet for two weeks before prom (I wanted to fit into my first designer dress that my mother had bought for me, because it was a size 0) and lose the weight I wanted to, but telling me to eat cereal is not a hardship, and the irony was that I lost the weight, but my skin was so pale looking that I ended up not looking good in the dress anyway, so I didn’t wear it.

Anyway. Then college happened, and I gained like 20 pounds and barely exercised and had steadily worsening breathing problems compounded by the wrong medication and bad stomach problems. When I was 21 1/2, I realized I was a pound away from having an officially overweight BMI, and that’s when I decided things had to change. Now, two years later, wellness is like a full-time job that never stops being challenging, but at least it’s now become more or less routine. But it easily gets boring, so I’m always looking for new recipes to make me excited about not eating potato chips, and new exercises and fitness magazines to make sure I’m never too bored to be healthy.

I have to be honest, though, and say that I need a lot of outside stimulation to make me excited about not eating out and not taking 24/7 advantage of my Hulu plus account. Much as I hate how dependent we all are on tiny computers that fit in our pockets, and much as I still have ZERO interest in owning a smartphone, one of the biggest things that helped me on my way was keeping a food and exercise diary on Self.com so that I could keep track of how I was doing. I think most of us can be tempted into doing a lot of things if it allows us to play with buttons and typing. Also, quite frankly, and I know this makes me seem more like a communist than the socialist I am, but I totally support any place of employment that requires some sort of commitment to wellness (and I also support those that require their employees–or highly encourage them–to be involved in volunteer or social justice work), because I think when it comes down to it, we all know that we need outside forces to get us to do anything that’s not X-Box or alcohol. Continue reading →

crit happens

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I love graduate school. And I think it’s really good for me. For the first time in my life, not only am I working hard (I suppose I’ve done that occasionally), but I’m making my formal education not only a priority in the obligation sense, but also a priority in that I actually value it and feel like I’m getting something out of it. Individually, these things have happened before–I’ve worked hard, sometimes I’ve felt like what I was learning was relevant, and sometimes I’ve not procrastinated–but I’ve never done them ALL AT ONCE before. This is pretty amazing.

My crit class is intense and requires reading major works of major critical schools each week, then reading studies of novels with the critical school in action, and then reading two novels and writing a paper on one of them from the point of view of last week’s critical school. Crazy and schizophrenic, but also really challenging and fun. My management theory readings are actually interesting, and it reminds me that I like being bossy and am actually kind of good at it. And reference will be a good challenge for me, because it involves being patient with other people, explaining myself clearly, and going out of my comfort zone in order to help others find information that they need. So, win, win, win.

It blows my mind that I’ve been here for about three weeks already. Tucson what? I never thought it would be such an easy transition, but it has been. In fact, it’s so easy to just feel as if this is where I am that I almost feel guilty. But we’ll see how I feel a month from now. The longest I’ve ever gone without seeing my family is six weeks, so that may be a hurdle when I get to the seven week point. But now it reminds me of Prague, where I was so into what I was doing and experiencing that it felt natural.

I take lots of breaks from my work, but I think they’re responsible breaks. I watch a funny television show, or I read a book and write the review that’s due. Or I go to the gym. I’ve done at least 45 minutes of cardio every day for the last week, and I also try to walk most places. Today I’m walking to the farmers’ market, where I’ll buy a lot of fruit so that I stop eating crappy food, and I’ll buy a lot of veggies for cooking and for making vegetable stock, because I have discovered that a crock pot is awesome. Healthy body, healthy mind. Good things all around.

I joined a student group, the Progressive Librarians Guild, which I think will be enjoyable. I’m excited to learn, connect, and plan. Life is too good. I feel lucky. And I hope the boat doesn’t rock.

the diet: parte deux

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A little over a year ago I learned how much I weighed, and while I’ve never been one to worry about the number of pounds I hold as opposed to how I feel and look, the number that came up then scared me and was totally unacceptable, so I decided to revamp my lifestyle, keep a food and exercise diary, and strive for a physically, emotionally, and mentally healthier life.

I think I’ve done a pretty good job with that, but as I’ve grown from the picky eater I was as a child to an absolute foodie, I also learned more recently that I can’t be a foodie, because actually I have a ton of digestive and health problems that keep me from eating lots of good food. So begin the beta version of my diet, in which I visit doctors all the time and read books and articles about the science of nutrition (which is fascinating mostly because it’s a totally made up but essential science) and experiment with food and exercise to see what makes me feel good and what makes me feel bad.

In the spirit of not describing some very gross and embarrassing symptoms, I’m just going to say that due to my health problems, I am no longer allowed to eat gluten at all, and I have to eat very low amounts of simple carbs, starches, and sugars. I also have to avoid dairy for another couple of weeks, and then I can try some and see what it does to me after I’ve gotten my body healthier, because I don’t actually know whether or not I’m lactose intolerant, since all of my other problems were clouding that. I’ve also been told to avoid soy, as people with digestive problems generally shouldn’t eat soy because it can cause more, and I’m supposed to avoid bananas (no problem, because they’re disgusting), chocolate, mint, and coffee (which is bad, because I think a mint mocha latte is the greatest thing ever). So essentially I am allowed fruits, vegetables, meat, and eggs, and I eat small amounts of gluten-free grains, nuts, and beans. It was rather convenient, then, that Amanda told me about Gary Taubes’ book Good Calories, Bad Calories , which is very well researched and argues that simple carbs are the root of all evil, so when I have a health problem and the prospect of eliminating my future chance of getting cancer/cholesterol/heart attacks, it is much easier to avoid eating the things that used to be my favorite foods (namely all things made from potatoes, plus breakfast cereal).

Then I decided to read The Paleo Diet (Loren Cordain), which takes those a step further than Taubes and says that actually, you should watch your fat intake as well. So I’m striving to get close to that diet, though there is no way I will ever be able to follow it to a T, because the second I’m allowed to try dairy again, I’m going straight for ranch dressing. Or a caesar salad. Or grilled cheese. But it’s definitely a good idea, the paleo diet, so I’m going to try to mostly live by it.

But my problem comes in when I read these books because I had previously been pretty decent at being a flexitarian, only eating meat once or twice a week. And while I have no problem eating animals if they were raised and killed humanely, and preferably if they’re organic, I could never do what the paleo diet recommends and eat animals three meals a day. I can’t stomach it. Even though these diet books are very convincing (because they’re not “diet books” but lifestyle, life diet books that tell you about food science), they aren’t very socially conscious, nor are they concerned with ethical eating, and I’d like to at least try to balance my physically healthful ways with spiritually healthy ways, and that means that I have to kind of go with the Peter Singer way of living your life. Because yes, I can see how evolution tells us that we’re not equipped to eat as many carbs as we think we are. But I also think that progress occurs for a reason, and we should be privileged enough to be able to find ways to eat without hurting the earth too much.

So my quest for the next year, I think, is to establish a new baseline for my health. I want to be able to not depend on vitamins, now that gluten isn’t impeding my absorption of them, and I want to have a more strict exercise and stretching regimen. I want to move to Boston and be an efficient cook and eater. I want to stop snacking. I want to reduce my dependence on cereal for breakfast. And I want to find a way to do all of these things and still remain fairly ethical, since I am in a position where I should be able to afford to do so.

We’ll see how this goes.

myself

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I just decided that I am going to stop having sex and exercise instead. This way, my energy will go to something more useful that doesn’t make me feel bad about myself, since this ten-month “relationship” is just making me hate myself for being dumb and for being unlovable. And after weighing myself on Tuesday, I am officially overweight and need to lose weight anyway, so the new plan is to put all my physical energy into dancing, jumping rope, biking, and doing Pilates. The emotional energy is going to go into writing and just being a good student.

I am really excited about this. I hope the good mood lasts. Yesterday I was in a funk, but I need to not let bad nights at work affect my days. And I need to start drinking more yerba mate to curb my appetite. Which means I also need to drink more milk to counter the effects of the caffeine.

I’ll try not to let this blog turn in to my self-help book. But I am so excited about helping myself out, and I think that’s a really new and good thing for me at this point. I’ve been wasting my life lately.